Be Here Now

Thanksgiving week we offered our college students the opportunity to participate in a contemplative retreat. Twenty-some students chose to become monks for the week, trying out contemplative practices such as centering prayer, lectio divina, the examen. We kept silence every morning, and they also tried out using art, breathing, meditation, and pottery as means of prayer. The week was a gift to me as a teacher, as I watched the students start to become aware of themselves, be present to the moment, even notice God in the everyday. Many of these students have been wounded by the preaching of the "executioner God" at their churches (the idea that God is love, but only if you're good. Otherwise you're fried...), and have a hard time with the Bible and Christian cliches. Even the word "Jesus" stings some of them. By getting at this God stuff through the back door, it seems many found some freedom to meet God on their own terms, in the here and now. They saw the divine presence in the horizon, in piggy back rides from other students, in our infant daughter. Our scripture for the week was the story of the healing of a blind beggar, Bartimaeus, in Mark. In the story, Bartimaeus cries out to Jesus to have mercy on him. Jesus hears him, stands still, and says, "call him here." All week I heard the echo "call her here" (I took the liberty to change the pronoun) as a reminder to be HERE, present, and to see God in each moment. My hope is to carry this mantra with me in the days to come. We'll see how it goes...

Political Illusion?
Well, the Democrats have done it, pulled off a coup. It’s what all the liberals have been waiting for since ‘94. And Rumsfeld fell on his sword. Feels poetic.
But I guess I’ve been reading too much William Stringfellow, Jacques Ellul, and James Allison, to be convinced that there’s going to be a visible change just because the party in power changed. I still don’t think anyone there in Washington actually has anything other than their own political career in mind when they make decisions. Rumsfeld’s resignation feels like scapegoating-- someone had to take the fall and take the heat off of Bush.
Let’s hope that this political victory doesn’t cost the liberals their vigilance. Bush and Rumsfeld are not the problem, it’s so much bigger than that (although they are bighead mean dodos for sure). We (the good guys) haven’t won yet. We have to keep up the momentum that was generated through hating Bush and Rumsfeld, and try to keep these new powerful people honest. We have to keep reminding them about schoolkids and prisoners and immigrants, and people jam-packed into crappy public housing, And the earth—polar bears who will be extinct in 20 years because of our oil habit.
I’m too young to be this cynical, I know. Democrats all over the country are celebrating and I’m whining. I guess I never got over Bill Clinton signing the welfare reform bill….

RevGalBlogPals

Well, don't I feel like the internet fancy pants. I joined the RevGalBlogPals webring (the link is in the sidebar). It's a web ring of women bloggers who are clergy, are considering becoming clergy, or are otherwise interested in such things. I've been spying on this web ring for months, after JWD of the Blanket in a Grove blog (link to the right) introduced me. Maybe my months of hesitant lurking on this web ring is just another manifestation of my self-doubt. Part of the reason I've never pursued a religious career is that I just don't think I measure up. Not asking for pity (or counseling)here, just stating the facts. I still have this picture of pastors as people who are perfect, or near-perfect. They don't mess up, give bad advice, do murky exegesis bordering on heresy, or accidentally say "mother fucker" at the Thanksgiving table in front of all the relatives, as I did a few years back. Now that I've been to seminary with a bunch of shmucks and a few good people, and I have lots of imperfect, normal friends who are pastors, you'd think I'd be over this hangup. But old habits die hard, so I'm working on it, and I feel closer to a sense of calling than I ever have.
So I look forward to learning from this online community of normal people trying to help other people feel God's love in some way.

Books and Baby...

This photo sums up the last few months. Teaching and mothering is all-encompassing, which makes for a boring blog, among other things....
Despite the break-neck pace of this semester, it has been a source of light and life. It's good to be reading again, thinking about big ideas and watching undergraduates' brains melt down with the profound questions of life. It's also good to be in a place that's flexible enough to really co-parent my daughter without her having to be in day care a lot. And she loves the people who care for her, so that's been a true gift.
About the picture: not only is a cutesy metaphor for what's happening to my daughter, and representative of my life now, but it's also a good intro to a book promotion. Becoming Human was one of the first books we read this semester, and remains a source of conversation with students. Jean Vanier believes in the increasingly unpopular notion of loving others unconditionally, including our enemies, as the path to true freedom. Of course I'm oversimplifying, but his view of reconciliation is one which transcends the labels of oppressor and oppressed, right and wrong. Vanier is the founder of L'Arche, an organization which sets up intentional communities which include both people of "normal" intelligence, and those with developmental disabilities. He's lived in these communities for years, doesn't think you have to be out to change the whole world, just to make your loving presence known to those around you. The book's worth a read.